Banta: Mujhe Mehanti, Saadgi Se Rehne Wali,
aagyakari aur Ghar Sanwar Kar Rakhne
Wali Ladki Chahiye.Banta: Mere Ghar
Aake Meri Naukrani Ko Le Jana.
Santa ne 1 raah chalti ajnabi ladki
se kaha- aapne pehchana mujh ko?
Ladki- nahi..!!
Santa- mai wahi hu jisko aapne parso
bhi nhi pehchana tha...!!
Santa: mere padosi ka bacha gum ho gaya.
Banta: phir tumne kya kiya?
Santa: maine usse kaha Google
pe search kar Lo.
Santa : "Ek Kilo Gaay Ka Dhoodh Dena."
Banta : "Lekin Tumhara Bartan To Bahut Chhota Hai."
Santa :"Theek He To Fir BAKRI Ka De de."
Santa london k Hotel me murgi khane
gaya lekin murgi ka english word bhul gaya.
Waiter: what do u like to have sir?
Santa: Egg's mother.!
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad
marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale
master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.....!
Girl to Santa: Kya shaadi ke baad
bhi tum mujhe itna pyaar karoge..??
Santa: Kyon nahin..? Main to diwana
hoon shaadi-shuda aurton ka.
Jungle me sher aa gaya,
Santa ne mitti uthayi sher ki
aankh me dalke
bhagte hue chikha 'Abe Bhag'
Banta: Main kyun bhagu? Mitti
to tune dali hai.
Santa: Yaar Banta tere ghar
me'LATRIN' bani hai kya?
Banta: Ha bani hai.Aur tere
ghar me.
Santa:Nahi yaar mere ghar to
DAAL CHAAVAL bane hain.
Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend
nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.
Santa- Inse Milo Ye Meri
Patni SANN0 !
Banta- Ha Janta Hoon, Kisi
Jamane Me Hum Ek Saath Soya Karte The..!
Santa- Kya.?
Banta- Haa..!
Hindi Ki Class me.
Santa subah Tatti gaya..
Bahut der tak nahi aayi
Usne fir try kiya par nahi aayi
Santa bola are aa q nahi rahi hai !
Mai kaun sa tujhe kha jaunga.
Zamindar: Agar Main Subah Apni Car
Me Niklu To Sham Tak Main Apni
Aadhi Zamen B Nahi Dekh Sakta..!
Santa : Hamare Paas Bhi
Pahle Aisi Hi Car Thi.
Santa was inserting dog's
tail into pipe.
Banta: Oye, kutte ki dum
kabhi seedhi nahi hoti.
Santa: Idiot, main to pipe
bend kar raha hoon.
santa k ghar ek din sasural wale aye
biwi ne santa ko kaha ki jao
aur mahemano k liye kuch lekar aao.
santa bahar gaya aur taxi le kar aa gaya.
Santa was seated In A cricket ground..
Security: Cricket match is over
now, why r u stil sitting?
santa: oye yaar, i m waiting
for highlights
Santa: Yaar, kal main bathroom
gaya to waha Lion tha
Banta: Phir kya Hua?
Santa: Kuch nhi, main kha,tum kar lo
Meri to waise hi Nikal gayi
Santa comes to school with 1
black and 1 white shoe.
Teacher - Go home and change.
Santa- sir, ghar me bhi ek black
aur white hi hai.!
Santa- 'sala kal raat 3 ghanta
picture ki CD dekhi, na kuch scenes
dikaha na awaz sunai di'
Banta- 'movie ka naam kya tha?'
Santa- 'NO DISC INSERTED'
Santa:bus stand tak jane k kitnay paise
Taximan:40rs
Santa: 2rs me chalega?
taximan:2rs me kaun jayega?
Santa: piche baith me leke jata hu..
Santa- "teri biwi tujhe bartan
se marti hai phir bhi tu khush
kaise hai?" Banta- "jab uska nisana
lag jata hai to wo khush, nahi
lagne pe mai khush"
Santa Prays Daily 2 Hour- Hey uper
wale Meri Lottery Lagade
11 Sal K Baad upar wala Gusse
Me Prakat Hoke Bole-
Abe Santa 1 Bar Ticket To Le le
Santa.: Ur Son Is Dead
After Hearng dis. Santa Jumps From 50th Flore
35 Flore He Realizs:I Dont Have Son
20 Flore:I m Not Marrid
&3rd Flore:SHIT I m Banta
Santa ko uska sasur peet raha tha..
kyu?
Jab uski wife ko beta hua, Dr.
Ne usko SMS kiya.."Mubark ho ap baap ban gaye"
Santa ne msg sabko forward kar diya.
Santa was SHOPPING
.
.
Shopkeeper- sir ! Do u want
a POCKET CALCULATOR ?
.
.
Santa- No thanks!
I know how many pockets i have!
Teacher- kaonsa animal zameen aur
pani dono jagah rahta hai?
Santa- mendak
Teacher- good..! ab aise 3 aur
janwaro k naam batao?
Santa- mendak k papa, mummy
aur bhai.
Santa- agar apko Garmi lage
to aap kya karte ho?
Banta- Cooler k samne baith jata hu,
SAnta- phir bhi Garmi lage to?
Banta-Cooler on kar leta hu.
Dr.- Dawai Hila Ke Piya Karo,
Santa- Dr. Saheb, Hilane Se Dawai
Chammach Se Gir Jati Hai aur Phir
Zameen Se Chaatni Padti Hai.
In MBA classroom Prof. asked to Santa:
"If i buy n item Rs.12.75 & sell Rs.15.25",
its profit or loss?
Santa: its Profit in rupees & Loss in paise.
Santa samundar me dahi daal raha tha,
Banta- kya kar rhe ho?
Santa- Lassi bana raha hu,
Banta-isi liye log hum par joke banate hai,
Itni Lassi tera Baap Piyega?
Teacher: Translate Bazaar me
goliyan chal rahi hain.
Santa: The Tablets are walking
in the market
Santa- arz kiya hai.
Banta- irshad irshad.
Santa- arz kiya hai.
Banta- irshad...
Santa- abe kutte bolne to de.
Banta- wah....wah.
Santa sitting on road, Banta
ask y r u wasting time?
Santa: I m taking revenge.
Banta: How?
Santa: Waqt ne muje barbad kiya
hai, ab mai waqt barbad kar raha hu.
Santa- teacher, did u know that
hens r more intelligent than us?
Teacher - How?
Santa- because after every problem we write.
HENS proved.
Teacher: which comes first - sun or moon?
Santa: Obviously moon
Teacher: How!?...
Santa: Only after honey 'MOON',
'SON' will be born!
Santa Singh tezi se daudta aaya aur
clinic me daakhil hua, mujhe bacha lo doctor
sahab, main marnewala hoon.
Doctor: Tumhe kaise pata chala?
Santa Singh: Do saal pehle maine
jeevanbhar kaam aanewala pen kharida
tha, aaj wo achanak tut gaya.
Santa: gaadi me petrol khatam ho
gaya, ab ye aage nahi jaayegi.
Banta: to fir vapas lele.
snta roj subah ped ki
daali pe chad k baith
jaata tha...
Pucho Q?
Kyu ki MBA karke wo
apne aap ko Branch
Manager samjta tha.
Santa: "i love u"
Means kya hota hai?
Girl: mai tumse pyar karti hu,
Santa: le 1 question kya pucha,
tu to mujhse pyar kar baithi "Pagli"
Santa: will u marry after my death?
Wife: no i will live with my sister,
Wife: will u marry after i die,
Santa: no i will also live with your sister.
Captain- kisi ko tufaan se bach
nikalne ki dua aati hai?
Santa raised hand..
Captain- ok.. aap dua par guzara
karo, hamare paas 1 life jacket kam hai.
Nurse- Mubarak Ho Aapke Ghar Beta
Paida Huwa Hai Sardar- Wah G Wah Kya
Technology Hai BV Meri Hospital Me
Hai Aur Bachcha Ghar Paida huwa Hai.
Qatil- try karna mujhe umar qaid
ho fansi nahi Santa lawyer- ok i will,
after court Qatil- kya hua?
Santa- bahut mskil se umrqaid
mili court to riha kar raha tha.
Santa- main tere 64 k 64 daant tod dunga.
1 admi bola- daant to
32 hote hai!
Santa- mujhe pata tha tu bich me
bolega, isliye tere bhi gin liye the.
How can u identify Santa in a classroom?
Think
Think
Very simple
Just see
Who is erasing notes When
teacher is erasing blackboard.
Santa- agar nariyal k ped par chad
jau to eng. College ki ladkiya dikh jayengi
Banta- fir hath chhod dena,
to medical college ki bhi dikh jayengi.
In a 1oo meter race,it was announced
1
2
3
Start
All started running except Santa,
Coach- why are you still waiting?
Santa- my no is 4.
Santa cricket khel kar aaya,
Banta- kitne runs banaye?
Santa- century hone me 100
runs baki the...
mai out ho gaya!.
Santa Bill gates se- tum pagal ho
Bill- why?
Santa- Tumhara surname
GATES hai aur business tum
WINDOWS ka karte ho.
Santa- Yaar mere Baal bahot Gir Rahe hain.
Banta- par kaise ?
Santa- Tension Se.
Banta- kis baat ki Tension?
Santa- Baal girne ki.
Teacher- tum bade ho kr kya karoge?
Santa- shaadi.
teacher- nahi, mera matlab h
ki tum bade hokar kya banoge.
Santa- "PAPA"
Santa found answer to the most difficult
question ever- What comes first -
the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega.!
Santa: Muje Shak Hai, Meri
Biwi Ki Chaddi Tere Bedroom
Me Hai Banta: yar Bhabhi
Chaddi Kaha Pahnti Hai
Santa: Are han Sorry faltu hi
Tujh Pe Shak Kiya.
Santa- Maine apni BIWI ko 12th
pass karaya, fir B.A.fir M.A.,
uski Govt. job bi lagva di, Ab kya karu?
Banta- achcha sa ladka dekh ke SHAADI KARDE.
Inspector to Santa: Faansi
se pehle, bata teri
aakhri icchha kya hai?
Santa: Mere pair upar aur
sir niche kar k faansi
de do!
Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa
bola: "Menu koi
farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi
100 ka bharwata tha
ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
Santa ko party ka invitation mila
jisme likha tha "PINK TIE ONLY"
Santa party me gaya to surprise
ho gya Usne dekha logo ne
PANT-SHIRT BHI PEHNE the.
Santa: Do you know English?
Banta: Yes Santa: Ok! Then tell
what is the opposite of
NAAG PANCHAMI?
Banta: So simple Yaar...
NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME.
What's the difference between
Bus & Cycle??
Santa:- Bus ka stand bus ke
sath kabhi nahi jaata Par Cycle
ka stand humesha Cycle ke
sath jata hai.
Nurse came out with the newborn kid
, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing
the kid he shouted, PUTTAR hua PUTTAR.
She slapped him: Leave my finger,
u fool, It’s a Girl
Santa: darling aaj barsat ka din hai,
koi aisi romantic baat kaho ki mere
pair jamin pe na rahe,
wife: darling fansi laga lo.
petrol ke daam badne par santa
ne kaha - mainu koi pharak nahi
padta, pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata
tha , ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon.
Dr- jab apko pata tha CHiPKALi
apke KAAN me GHUS rahi hai to
aap CHUP kyu the?
Santa-pehle COCKROCH gaya tha
to mujhe laga ki wo use pakadne
ja rahi hai.
Santa likes to study in front
of the mirror.Why?
1- revision ka time bachta hai
2- combined study hoti hai
3- ek dusre ke doubts clear kar sakte hai.
Santa: Maine khat likha tha k
meri shadi pr ana,tum q ni aye?
Banta: Mujhe khat nahi mila,
Santa: Maine likha tha ki khat
mile ya na mile tum zarur ana.
Santa- Mujh se Wada Kar Ki Teri
Biwi Ki Pahli Kiss Mujhe Lene Dega,
Banta- Wada, Par Meri Bhi Ek Shart Hai?
Santa- Bol kya?
Banta- Main Shadi Teri Bahan Se karunga..
Santa ne 1 machis ki tili jalai
nhi jali
2 jalai,
nai jali
3 jalai
Vo jal gyi
To santa ne jaldi se bujha di
or bola-Ye kam ki hai rakh leta
Santa: Are yaar light chali gayi
hai kamse kam fan to chalu kar do,
Banta: lo kar di na bewkufo jaisi
baat, Santa: Kyo???
Banta: Fan chalu karunga to
mombatti nahi bujh jayegi.
Santa roz apni x girl friend ke
ghar ke samne Potty karta tha,
x girl friend: aisa kyu karte ho?
Santa: tumhe ye batane ke liye ki
tumhare Pyar ke bina mai bhukha
nahi mar raha hu.
Santa: ooji gaddi badi changi, hai
kya naam hai is gaddi ka?
LADY: I don't remember the name but
it starts with "T".
Santa: wahji apki gaddi to kamal ki
hai jo TEA se shuru hoti hai. humari
gaddi to petrol se hi start hoti hai.
Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks
'aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'
'Haan' replies shop owner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara wala dena!'.
Santa driving on the wrong side
of a one way Road,
became upset and said: SHIT, I
think I am late to the function....
All r going back.
Sardar to police- Kal raat chor
mere ghar se tv k ilawa sab saamaan le gaye
Pol: tv kyon nahi ?
Santa: tv to me dekh raha tha na.
Judge-Tum par cycle chori ka
ilzaam sabit nahi hua,
Lihaza tumko baa-izzat bari
kiya jata hai. Santa- Iska matlab
mai Wo Cycle rakh lu?
Santa was busy in removing a
wheel from auto,
Banta asks: why r u removing a
wheel from your auto?
Santa: Can't u read Parking for
two wheelers only..
Santa- ghar ma mera hi hukam
chalta hai
mai kehta hu, garam pani lao,
wo le aati hai
Banta- garam pani kyu?
Santa- garam pani ma hi bartan
ache dhulte hai.
Dentist: Oye tera 1 daant
neela kaise ho gaya?
Santa: INK laga rakhi he
dentist: magar kyu?
Santa: aaj kal BLUETOOTH
ka Zamana hai.
Santa looked miror & said-
Isko kahi dekha hai,
Then he said- Yaad aaya, ye
to wahi kamina hai
jo meri shadi ki album me
meri Biwi ke sath hai.
Santa at petrol pump-1-/Rs
ka petrol dal do
Salesman-Itna Petrol dalwa
k kaha jaoge?
Santa-Kahi nhi, hum to aise
hi paise udate hai.
ek ladki khadi ho kar josh
me boli- aaj ki naari kya
nahi kar sakti?
santa bola
"DEEWAR PE SUSU"
Santa: aaj mere padosi ka bachcha gum ho gaya.
Meine mashwara diya to maar padi.
Banta: tumne kya kaha tha?
Santa: Maine kaha 'google'
par search karlo...
Santa public toilet gaya aur 1
ghante baad nikla.
baahar baitha jamadar
bola- 20 rs.
Santa- saale.. bathroom
me betha tha..
koi CYBER cafe me nahi..
Santa ki chhatri me hole tha,
Banta ne pucha: umbrella
me hole kyu hai?
Santa: Oye, baarish ruk
jayegi to pata kaise chalega.
Santa drives in to one- way
& cross NO ENTRY board-
Policeman- oye NO ENTRY
ka board nAhi dekha?
Santa- Mujhe laga film
ka poster hai.
Santa said something in
Banta's ear & Banta died.
Take a wild guess
what did he say?
?
?
?
"Dhishkiyaon"
Santa ne market me ek
khoobsurat ladki dekhi
aur sochne laga...
..
kaash!
..
..
ye meri
..
..
maa hoti to mai bhi
itna hi khoobsurt hota.
Santa: Biwi se ladai khatm hui?
Banta: Ghutne tek k mere pas aai thi
Santa: usne ghutne tek k kya kaha?
Banta: yahi ki bed k niche
se nikal aao, kuch nahi kahugi.
Santa BLOOD k bare me
book pad rha tha...
Biwi: aaj ye kyu pad rahe ho?
Santa: mujhe Dr. ne kaha hai ki
kal BLOOD test hai is liye
test ki taiyari kar raha hu.
Santa k 9 beto me 1 alag dikhta tha,
Usne marte waqt biwi se pucha,
Ab to sach bata, ye alag dikhne
wala kiska hai,
Biwi- ye 1 hi to apka hai.
Preeto khana bana rahi thi aur
pucha-namak kidhar hai?
Santa- namak nahi hai.
Preeto- to daal me kya daalu?
Santa- "colgate" dalo, usme namak hai.
Biwi: tumara Banta ki biwi
k sath sambndh hai,
Sharam aani chahiye,
Santa: sorry,
Par tumhe kaise pata chala?
Biwi: Banta aaj tumari undrwear
pehan k aaya tha.
a lady kissed a lion inside
d cage in a circus.
Ring master: Can any1 do it?
Santa: mai kar sakta hu.. Par
pehle samne se LION ko hata.
Santa- agar mere hath me sarkar ho to
mai desh ki takdir badal dunga..
Wife- tum pehle apna pajama to badal lo
subah se ulta pehan rakha hai.
Santa was walking through
forestHe saw a snake hanging
on the tree...
Santa: Sirf latak ne se height
nai badegi,Mummy ko bolo complan pilaye
Santa : zara car se bahar dekhna ki
indicator chal rahe hai ki nahi ?
Banta : bahar dekh kar "haan, nahi,
haan, nahi, haan, nahi, haan, nahi".
Santa ne 1 raah chalti ajnabi l
adki se kaha-
aapne pehchana mujh ko?
Ladki- nahi,
Santa- mai wahi hu jisko
aapne parso bi nahi pehchana tha...!
Santa docter se- "mujhe subah
7 baje susu aata hai aur 8 baje potti aati hai"
Docter- "to isme problem kya hai?"
Santa- "magar meri nind to 9 baje khulti hai."
Santa to guest: thanda piyoge ya garam,
Guest: dono le aao,
Santa: 1 glass freezer se aur
1 glass geyser se pani ka le aao.
Santa: Are yaar light chali gayi
hai kamse kam fan to chalu kar do,
Banta: lo kar di na bewkufo jaisi
baat, Santa: Kyo???
Banta: Fan chalu karunga to
mombatti nahi bujh jayegi.
Santa ne 1 machis ki tili jalai
nhi jali
2 jalai,
nai jali
3 jalai
Vo jal gyi
To santa ne jaldi se bujha
di or bola-Ye kam ki hai rakh leta
Santa: ooji gaddi badi changi, hai
kya naam hai is gaddi ka?
LADY: I don't remember the name but
it starts with "T".
Santa: wahji apki gaddi to kamal
ki hai jo TEA se shuru hoti hai.
humari gaddi to petrol se hi
start hoti hai.
Santa roz apni x girl friend ke ghar
ke samne Potty karta tha,
x girl friend: aisa kyu karte ho?
Santa: tumhe ye batane ke liye ki
tumhare Pyar ke bina mai bhukha
nahi mar raha hu.
Santa driving on the wrong side
of a one way Road,
became upset and said: SHIT, I think
I am late to the function....
All r going back.
Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks
'aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'
'Haan' replies shop owner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara wala dena!'.
Judge-Tum par cycle chori ka
ilzaam sabit nahi hua,
Lihaza tumko baa-izzat bari kiya
jata hai. Santa- Iska matlab mai
Wo Cycle rakh lu?
Sardar to police- Kal raat chor mere
ghar se tv k ilawa sab saamaan le gaye
Pol: tv kyon nahi ?
Santa: tv to me dekh raha tha na.
Santa- ghar ma mera hi hukam chalta hai
mai kehta hu, garam pani lao, wo le aati hai
Banta- garam pani kyu?
Santa- garam pani ma hi bartan ache dhulte hai.
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: why r u removing a wheel from your auto?
Santa: Can't u read Parking for two wheelers only..
Santa looked miror & said- Isko kahi dekha hai,
Then he said- Yaad aaya, ye to wahi kamina hai
jo meri shadi ki album me meri Biwi ke sath hai.
Dentist: Oye tera 1 daant neela kaise ho gaya?
Santa: INK laga rakhi he
dentist: magar kyu?
Santa: aaj kal BLUETOOTH ka Zamana hai.
Santa at petrol pump-1-/Rs ka petrol dal do
Salesman-Itna Petrol dalwa k kaha jaoge?
Santa-Kahi nhi, hum to aise hi paise udate hai.
ek ladki khadi ho kar josh me boli- aaj ki
naari kya nahi kar sakti?
santa bola
"DEEWAR PE SUSU"
Santa public toilet gaya aur 1 ghante baad nikla.
baahar baitha jamadar bola- 20 rs.
Santa- saale.. bathroom me betha tha..
koi CYBER cafe me nahi..
Santa: aaj mere padosi ka bachcha gum ho gaya.
Meine mashwara diya to maar padi.
Banta: tumne kya kaha tha?
Santa: Maine kaha 'google'
par search karlo...
Santa drives in to one- way &
cross NO ENTRY board-
Policeman- oye NO ENTRY ka board nAhi dekha?
Santa- Mujhe laga film ka poster hai.
Santa ki chhatri me hole tha,
Banta ne pucha: umbrella me hole kyu hai?
Santa: Oye, baarish ruk
jayegi to pata kaise chalega.
Santa ne market me ek khoobsurat
ladki dekhi aur sochne laga.....
kaash!
..
..
ye meri
..
..
maa hoti to mai bhi itna hi khoobsurt hota.
Santa said something in Banta's
ear & Banta died.
Take a wild guess
what did he say?
?
?
?
"Dhishkiyaon"
Santa BLOOD k bare me
book pad rha tha...
Biwi: aaj ye kyu pad rahe ho?
Santa: mujhe Dr. ne kaha hai ki kal BLOOD
test hai is liye test ki taiyari kar raha hu.
Santa: Biwi se ladai khatm hui?
Banta: Ghutne tek k mere pas aai thi
Santa: usne ghutne tek k kya kaha?
Banta: yahi ki bed k niche se nikal
aao, kuch nahi kahugi.
Santa : zara car se bahar dekhna
ki indicator chal rahe hai ki nahi ?
Banta : bahar dekh kar "haan,
nahi, haan, nahi, haan, nahi,
haan, nahi".
Preeto khana bana rahi thi aur
pucha-namak kidhar hai?
Santa- namak nahi hai.
Preeto- to daal me kya daalu?
Santa- "colgate" dalo, usme namak hai.
Santa k 9 beto me 1 alag dikhta tha,
Usne marte waqt biwi se pucha, Ab to
sach bata, ye alag dikhne wala kiska hai,
Biwi- ye 1 hi to apka hai.
a lady kissed a lion inside d cage
in a circus.ta hu.. Par pehle
Ring master: Can any1 do it?
Santa: mai kar saksamne se LION ko hata.
Biwi: tumara Banta ki biwi k sath sambndh hai,
Sharam aani chahiye,
Santa: sorry,
Par tumhe kaise pata chala?
Biwi: Banta aaj tumari undrwear
pehan k aaya tha.
Santa to guest: thanda piyoge ya garam,
Guest: dono le aao,
Santa: 1 glass freezer se aur 1 glass
geyser se pani ka le aao.
Santa- agar mere hath me sarkar ho to
mai desh ki takdir badal dunga..
Wife- tum pehle apna pajama to badal lo
subah se ulta pehan rakha hai.
Santa ne 1 raah chalti ajnabi ladki se kaha-
aapne pehchana mujh ko?
Ladki- nahi,
Santa- mai wahi hu jisko aapne
parso bi nahi pehchana tha...!
Santa docter se- "mujhe subah 7 baje
susu aata hai aur 8 baje potti aati hai"
Docter- "to isme problem kya hai?"
Santa- "magar meri nind to 9 baje khulti hai."
Nurse- Mubarak Ho Aapke Ghar
Beta Paida Huwa Hai
Sardar- Wah G Wah Kya Technology Hai
BV Meri Hospital Me Hai
Aur Bachcha Ghar Paida huwa Hai.
In MBA classroom Prof. asked to Santa:
"If i buy n item Rs.12.75 &
sell Rs.15.25", its profit or loss?
Santa: its Profit in rupees
& Loss in paise.
Dr.- Dawai Hila Ke Piya Karo,
Santa- Dr. Saheb, Hilane Se Dawai
Chammach Se Gir Jati Hai aur
Phir Zameen Se Chaatni Padti Hai.
3 boys where going on a motor
cycle. policeman gives hand to stop
Santa-shouted oye pehle hi teen
baithe hai tu kaha baithega.
Santa- agar apko Garmi lage to
aap kya karte ho?
Banta- Cooler k samne baith jata hu,
SAnta- phir bhi Garmi lage to?
Banta-Cooler on kar leta hu.
Teacher- kaonsa animal zameen aur
pani dono jagah rahta hai?
Santa- mendak
Teacher- good..! ab aise 3 aur
janwaro k naam batao?
Santa- mendak k papa,
mummy aur bhai.
Santa samundar me dahi
daal raha tha,
Banta- kya kar rhe ho?
Santa- Lassi bana raha hu,
Banta-isi liye log hum par
joke banate hai,
Itni Lassi tera Baap Piyega?
Santa- which Soap do u use?
Banta- Tom's soap,
Tom's paste
Tom's brush
Santa- is Tom an
international brand ?
Banta- no, he's my
room mate.
Teacher: Translate Bazaar me
goliyan chal rahi hain.
Santa: The Tablets are
walking in the market
Santa: kya tumhari underwear
me 2 chhed hai?
Banta: no!
Santa:to fir tange kahan
se dalte ho?
Santa sitting on road, Banta
ask y r u wasting time?
Santa: I m taking revenge.
Banta: How?
Santa: Waqt ne muje barbad
kiya hai, ab mai waqt
barbad kar raha hu.
Santa- arz kiya hai.
Banta- irshad irshad.
Santa- arz kiya hai.
Banta- irshad...
Santa- abe kutte bolne to de.
Banta- wah....wah.
Santa- teacher, did u know
that hens r more intelligent than us?
Teacher - How?
Santa- because after e
very problem we write.
HENS proved.
Teacher: which comes first - sun or moon?
Santa: Obviously moon
Teacher: How!?...
Santa: Only after honey 'MOON',
'SON' will be born!
Santa Singh tezi se daudta aaya
aur clinic me daakhil hua, mujhe
bacha lo doctor sahab, main marnewala
hoon. Doctor: Tumhe kaise pata chala?
Santa Singh: Do saal pehle maine
jeevanbhar kaam aanewala pen kharida
tha, aaj wo achanak tut gaya.
Santa- I am suffering with loose motions
Doctor- Have you tried lemon
Santa- Yes I have but when I
remove it, they continue.
snta roj subah ped ki
daali pe chad k baith
jaata tha...
Pucho Q?
Kyu ki MBA karke wo
apne aap ko Branch
Manager samjta tha.
Santa: gaadi me petrol khatam
ho gaya, ab ye aage nahi jaayegi.
Banta: to fir vapas lele.
Santa: will u marry after my death?
Wife: no i will live with my sister,
Wife: will u marry after i die,
Santa: no i will also live with your sister.
Santa: "i love u"
Means kya hota hai?
Girl: mai tumse pyar karti hu,
Santa: le 1 question kya pucha, tu to mujhse
pyar kar baithi "Pagli"
Captain- kisi ko tufaan se bach
nikalne ki dua aati hai?
Santa raised hand..
Captain- ok.. aap dua par guzara
karo, hamare paas 1 life jacket kam hai.
In a 1oo meter race,it was announced
1
2
3
Start
All started running except Santa,
Coach- why are you still waiting?
Santa- my no is 4.
How can u identify Santa
in a classroom?
Think
Think
Very simple
Just see
Who is erasing notes When teacher
is erasing blackboard.
Santa- agar nariyal k ped par chad
jau to eng. College ki ladkiya dikh
jayengi Banta- fir hath chhod dena
,to medical college ki bhi dikh jayengi.
Qatil- try karna mujhe umar qaid
ho fansi nahi
Santa lawyer- ok i will,
after court
Qatil- kya hua?
Santa- bahut mskil se umrqaid mili
court to riha kar raha tha.
Santa- main tere 64 k 64 daant
tod dunga.
1 admi bola- daant to
32 hote hai!
Santa- mujhe pata tha tu bich me
bolega, isliye tere bhi gin liye the.
