Indiasms

Pappu: Papa aap Honeymoon me gaye the to mai kahan tha.
Pappu ka Papa: Beta jab gaye to mere pet me Aur aaye to mammi k pet me tha.

Santa was sukin girlfriend's breasts.
Gal got excited n said: Tussi hor kuch chahney ho?
Santa: Doodh naal biscuit milangey?

Suhagrat k time darvaze pe dastak hoti hai toh dulhan bhag k parde k peeche chup jati hai.
Husband: Kya hua?
Dulhan: Mujhe laga police ki raid par gai.

Prince k 60 feet k hole se nikalne k baad usse pucha gaya "andar dar lag raha tha?" to usne kaha "ye to kuch bhi nahi 6 saal pahle to isse bhi chhote hole se nikla tha".

Boy to gal: Agar mai tumhe Kiss karun to tum kyaa sochogi?
gal: I think Ek bevkuf jo pura USA ghum sakta tha Airport se hi vapas gaya. 

Kehte hai:  "aurat k haath me barkat hoti hai!"
bilkul sahi hai, 3 inch ki cheez haath me do to,   9 inch ki kar deti hai

Man: Kiss Karun?
Gal: Lipstick kharab hogi.
Man: Boobs dabaun.?
Gal: T-shirt kharab hogi.?
Man: f~ck?
Gal: Period me hun.?
Man: Don't say loose motions hai.

Santa runing after a bus n, catches it n asks the Driver: Ye bus teri Ma lagti hai?
Nahin.
To kya Behan lagti hai?
Nahin.
To phir chadne kyun nahin deta?

Rail k patri par mat hagaa karo,
Train aayegi to Ga#d kat jaayega,
Abhi to haath se
Ga#d dhote ho,
baad me Ga#d se haath dho
baithoge !!!!!!!!!!

kuch log sirf 2 ghante kertay hain
kuch log 4 ghante karte hain
Aur kuch log to Puuri Puuri raat karte hain........
abe aapna mobile charge.........

Jab Gabbar paida hua to uski maan ne usko 3-4 thappad lagaye.
Gabbar's Father: Kya baat ho gayi?
Mother: Kambakht paida hote hi pooch raha tha
KITNE AADMI THE.....!

Dad gajab ho gaya, bhai darwaja nahi! khol raha.
Dad: kal to uski suhagraat thi.
Son: Kal raat ko bhai ne cold cream mangi thi maine FEVICOL de diya bhul se.

What is the best family planning slogan on a municipal bus?
A: Kripaya aage se nahin peeche se chadhiye.

Pahle hath pe lo, fir sidha karo, fir muh me dalo, fir thuk lagao, fir ghosao.....
Kitna mushkil hai sui me dhaga dalna.

Ek Bar ek shaitan uperwale se bola mujhe sab se khubsurat bana taki mai sunder ladkiyon ka khoon pee saku, uperwala haskar bola ja tujhe ''WHISPAR"  bana diya.

70 yr old man: Doc meri age mein SX style kya hona chahiye?
Doc: Doggy style.
Man: Aapka matlab peeche se…?
Doc: Nahin, sirf suungh aur chaat k.

Santa: My 8yr old son is very naughty, he has made my maid servant pregnant.
Confused Banta: How the hell?
Santa: He took a pin & punctured all my condoms.

A Sardar was urinating beside a car. A Foreigner said to him "
AAP K YAHAN POLICE NAHIN PAKADHTI ?"
He replied,"NAHIN HAMAARE YAHAN KHUD PAKADHNA PADHTA HAI !"